My therapist introduced me to this poem. In my reading of it, it’s meant to be a reminder that we don’t get to control the feelings or thoughts that visit us, and so, the only appropriate response is to greet those who visit, invite them in, and be grateful for their presence.
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Web font performance is often overlooked, but can have a real impact on your website’s user experience and performance. One of the best controls available to us web developers is the CSS font-display property. Using it, we’re able to tell the browser how we’d like it to render our web fonts.
font-display
Block – don’t render any text until the fonts load, resulting in “Flash of Invisible Text” or “FOIT”
Swap – render un-styled (system) text first and swap it with web fonts once they load, resulting in “Flash of Unstyled Text” or “FOUT”
Fallback – render un-styled text first, if the web fonts load in the next few seconds swap them out, otherwise give up
Optional – render un-styled text first, load web fonts only if the user’s internet connection is strong enough to load web fonts
Auto – let the browser decided, most use “block”
Even with those definitions it can be difficult to decide what to do with the web fonts on your website. Instead of thinking about how fonts are rendered, I’ve found it helpful to think about what my design requires or how critical are the fonts to the experience of my website. With this framing, I assign different names to the font-display values in my head.
font-displayand my design
Critical (“block”) – the web font is absolutely critical to my site’s experience; for something like a logo
Necessary (“swap”) – the web font is definitely part of my site’s experience, but not the end of the world if it’s not there; for most body text
Preferred (“fallback”) – it would be nice for the user to see the web font but I don’t care much if they don’t; I hardly ever use this
Optional (“optional”) – the web font is barely, or not at all, an important part of my site’s experience; I never use this
Using this language, I’m able to more quickly decide what font-display value to use. I’d encourage you to use this language yourself, and then let me know if it helps!
The folks at Basecamp, the makers of HEY, showed off a new – yet very limited – feature of HEY called HEY World. It’s a blog that uses email as its CMS, send an email and you have a new blog post. I think it’s brilliant.
Blogs are awesome. They’re more discoverable than Twitter and less toxic than Facebook. There’s less noise (for the most part), and less pull to stay “engaged”. Just text and images on the screen. I’ve long searched for better, easier ways to start a blog. There’s Squarespace, and the like, but they’ve all long sense given up on blogging for greener ($$$) pastures. There’s WordPress and Ghost but hosting is expensive or feature-limited. For a while I had my blog on micro.blog which was fine. Now it’s on WordPress which, after designing a custom theme and self-hosting, is better. I wish I could say to my friends “hey, you should have a blog go here to make one” – but I can’t.
HEY World probably won’t be that place either but it’s a fun idea. Hopefully it reminds people how cool blogs are. And hopefully I’m wrong, Basecamp never ceases to amaze.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
After a dismal showing this regular season I’ve done quite well the past few weeks. So far this playoffs I’m 8-4 against the spread and 11-1 straight-up.
The questions I’ve been toiling with this week are – “Can Tom do it again?” and “Am I crazy to root against Mahomes?” I don’t think there are any stats or advance metrics that can answer either one of those questions, and so it’s a matter of heart. And my heart says Tom Brady is the GOAT. The one thing I’ve learned watching football for most of my life is this, never bet against Tom Brady.
BUCCANEERS +3. vs. Chiefs ✅ All hail the King
What a great playoff run. I went 9-4 against the spread and 12-1 straight up.My only loss came when I broke my own rule, never bet against Tom Brady.
I recorded another episode of Fargo Watch Party, we recap’d Season 1 Episode 5. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
This is a recap of season 1 Episode 5 of the hit series Fargo. You can watch it on FX or Hulu. Please Watch, Listen, Like, and Subscribe! This podcast is brought to you by The Modern podcast network with JD Ferrell and Stephen Meriwether.
I was on A Modern Man podcast to recap Season 1 Episode 4 of Fargo. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
This is a recap of the award-winning show Fargo on FX and Hulu. We recap season 1 episode 4 which is a little slower than some of the other episodes but just as entertaining. You can either watch along with us and listen to the recap or you can just listen to Stephen Meriwether and Me as recap the episode for you as well as our commentary on what happened.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I’m on a roll! I went 3-1 against the spread and 4-0 straight-up. That puts me 7-3 against the spread and 10-0 straight-up so far this playoffs. Not bad, not bad at all.
PACKERS -3.5 vs. Buccaneers – Tom has done more than anybody believed he would, but I think this is the end of the line. The Packers, and Aaron Rodgers, are just too good. ❌ Tom did it again.
CHIEFS -3.5 vs. Bills – The Chiefs are the best team in football. I’m happy for Bills-mania, but I don’t think this game will be close. ✅
I was on A Modern Man podcast to recap Season 1 Episode 2 of Fargo. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
This is a recap of the award winning show Fargo on FX and Hulu. We recap season 1 episode 3 which is by far our favorite episode so far in the series. You can either watch along with us and listen to the recap or you can just listen to Stephen Meriwether and I as recap the episode for you as well as our commentary on what happened.
I was on A Modern Man podcast to recap Season 1 Episode 2 of Fargo. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
This is a recap of the award winning show Fargo on FX and Hulu. We recap season 1 episode 2 of the series. Not as many people die in this episode, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t just as suspenseful. You can either watch along with us and listen to the recap or you can just listen to Stephen Meriwether and I as we recap the episode for you as well as our commentary on what happened.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I had a great week in week 1! I went 4-2 against the spread and 6-0 straight-up. Bill Simmons’ “always pick who you think will win” rule didn’t pan out that well, but I’m going to stick with it again.
PACKERS -6.5 vs. Rams – The Rams have a good team but they don’t have a QB. I don’t think that’s good enough to get you to the championship game. ✅
BILLS -2.5 vs. Ravens – I believe in this Bills team. ✅
CHIEFS -10 vs. Browns – I don’t like the spread here but I don’t see how the Chiefs lose this game, so I’m picking them. ❌ Bad luck
Buccaneers +3 vs. SAINTS – The Bucs are the only dogs I’m taking this week. I think TB12 does it again. ✅
I was on A Modern Man podcast to recap Season 1 Episode 1 of Fargo. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
This is a recap of the award winning show Fargo on FX and Hulu. We recap season 1 episode 1 which is one of the craziest season premieres that I have ever seen. You can either watch along with us and listen to the recap or you can just listen to Stephen Meriwether and I as recap the episode for you as well as our commentary on what happened.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
The playoffs are back! I’m starting the playoffs fresh, after a 8-13-1 regular season record, though I ended the season strong. I’ll pick every playoff game and keep track of how I did.
BILLS -6.5 vs. Colts – I really like this Bills team. Even though the Colts are quite good I think the Bills make the AFC championship game. ❌
Rams +3 vs. SEAHAWKS – Bill Simmons’ rulebook says you should only pick underdogs in the playoffs if you think they can win outright. The Seahawks haven’t looked good in more than a month, and the Rams are stacked. ✅
Buccaneers -9 vs. FOOTBALL TEAM – I’m planning to ride TB12 for as long as I can this postseason. ❌
Ravens -3 vs. TITANS – I’m looking for the Ravens to avenge their loss last year. ✅
SAINTS -10 vs. Bears – This is a big line but I’m sticking to the Bill Simmons rule I mentioned above. I’m pretty confident the Saints are going to win the game so they’re my pick. ✅
Browns +6 vs. STEELERS – I’m not sure what happened to the Steelers but they’ve looked so bad since their first loss. I’m not as confident in the Browns as I was a few weeks ago but I think they’re going to win this game. ✅
I’m starting a new blog to talk about all things Houston Rockets – Clutch City.
I’ve been a fan of basketball for as long as I can remember and I’ve been a fan of the Houston Rockets for just as long. As with most sports fans, I don’t think there’s enough national coverage of the Rockets, I’d like to consume more content about my favorite team.
My hope for Clutch City is to be a welcoming and inclusive place for every Rocket fan. And to fill some of the gap in coverage that I think exists. I don’t have any formal qualifications as a sports writer, but I promise to give my honesty, yet biased, opinions.
Head over to Clutch City (https://clutchcity.blog) for more!
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I took last week off but I’m back this week. I’m looking to finish the season strong, with momentum going into the playoffs.
GIANTS +1.5 vs. Cowboys – I’m just not a fan of this year’s Cowboys team. I’m not a fan of any team in the NFC East but the Giants might be the best of the bunch, even if they do miss the playoffs. ✅
Vikings -4 vs. LIONS – The Vikings have played well the past few weeks and I expect them to finish the year strong. ❌
RAMS +2.5 vs. Cardinals – The Rams have a strong roster, they only need Goff to show up consistently. So without Goff, I don’t think their team loses much. ✅
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
It’s starting to seem like it wasn’t bad luck.
DOLPHINS -1.5 vs. Patriots – The Dolphins gave the Chiefs a run for their money last week, and at the same time the Patriots were getting handled by the Rams. The Dolphins are on the outside-looking-in but still have a shot at the playoffs, making this game even more meaningful for them. ✅
Chiefs -2.5 vs. SAINTS – The Chiefs are the best team in football, by a mile. 2.5 points doesn’t seem like enough. ✅
Browns -6.5 vs. GIANTS – I’m still a believer in this Browns team and I’m not a believer in Colt McCoy. ✅
This past week I completed my COVID bingo card, by making bread! I’ve never made bread before, so I started off with the easiest recipe I could find – a “No Knead Crusty Rolls” recipe I found on Youtube. The rolls were as easy to make as it seems, and they were incredibly delicious. I plan on making this recipe again, but next time making sure the rolls are equally-sized.
The recipe
2 1/2 cups (320 grams) bread flour or all-purpose flour
(I cut the recipe in half, used instant yeast, and used all-purpose flour)
Step 1
Mix the flour, yeast, and salt, to combine well.
Step 2
Add the water and stir to combine. The dough will be pretty wet, that’s okay.
Step 3
Cover the dough with plastic and let the dough rest for ~3 hours. It should double in size.
(I had errands to run so my dough sat for ~6 hours and it turned out great!)
Step 4
Pour the dough onto a heavily floured counter and fold the dough a few times. You’re not “kneading”, the goal is to dry the dough out a bit and start to form a shape.
(If you get tripped up, the linked Youtube video demonstrates how to do this)
Step 5
Separate the dough into 8, equal-sized, pieces.
(I cut the recipe in half, so I went with 4 pieces)
Step 6
Fold each piece of dough a few times to form a ball (like before, the goal is to shape, not knead). Add each shaped piece of dough to a baking sheet.
Step 7
Heat up your oven to 450°F. As your oven heats up, cover the dough with a towel and let it rest.
(It took my oven ~30 minutes to heat up to that temp)
Step 8
Bake your rolls for ~20 minutes, or until they color.
Step 9
Pull the rolls out of the oven and let them rest for a few minutes. And then enjoy!
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
Even though my year-to-date record is quite bad, I’m going to chalk up last week to bad luck.
Texans -2 vs. BEARS – The Texans have played well the past few weeks. The last time I picked the Texans, they won. Here’s to trying to make that happen again. ❌ Nope.
GIANTS +2.5 vs. Cardinals – Danny Dimes is back! And the Giants look like the only decent NFC East team this year. ❌ Nope.
Steelers +2 vs. Bills – The Steelers dropped their first game last week, but given how close KC is in the standings I suspect they’ll come out strong this week. ❌ Nope.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I saw 2 go in last week. I think that’s just the momentum I need going into this week. I feel good about these picks.
FALCONS +3 vs. Saints – The Falcons have played well against the bottom half of the league. Without Brees, I think the Falcons have a shot. ❌ Kamara is back to form!
BEARS -3 vs. Lions – Two weeks ago the Lions put up 0 points against the Panthers, and then fired their coach. I’m not sure why I’m trusting Mitch but I don’t like how this Lions team has been playing. ❌ This was a heartbreaking loss.
PACKERS -8.5 vs. Eagles – Big lines usually give me pause. This year, I think it’s wise to take any line against NFC East teams (plus the Jets). ✅ As I suspected, the Eagles aren’t very good
I have a loose definition of the word “mentor”. They aren’t people who I can call at any moment, but some of them are. In fact, two of them have no clue who I am. But they’re all my mentors because I can predict how they’d respond to my questions, I’ve chatted with them enough or I’ve read enough of their writing.
I didn’t call them my mentors until recently. It feels especially weird to call someone your mentor when you’ve never met them. That was until I read a blog post by Derek Sivers where he talks about his mentors, and they look similar to the people I have in my life. I realized, those four people are my mentors. And this idea has been liberating. I don’t have to be in the same place, at the same time, with that perfect person, to eventually have a “mentor”. I’ve seen enough of what my mentors have to say that I find myself quoting them, to other people, and to myself. They’re always there for me, I only need to ask.
I recently read Hell Yeah or No by Derek Sivers. Derek labels himself as someone who’s been a “musician, producer, circus performer, entrepreneur, TED speaker, and book publisher.” He frequently writes on his blog and has a podcast. “Hell Yeah or No” is a collection of his writings, made into chapters, and organized into sections. The book is about life, about what’s worth doing, saying no and saying yes, fixing faulty thinking, and making things happen. Everything in this book is freely available online, you can read the entire book on his website.
I’ve consumed Derek’s work for years. I’ve read most of his blog, listened to all of his podcasts, and read his first book. So, it was only natural that I’d read his latest book. Although there’s nothing “new” in this book, Derek’s writings are worth re-reading, regularly. His writings are, as he puts it, a “counterpoint meant to complement the popular point”. I’m happy I took the time to re-read Derek’s work and I’ll continue to read everything that Derek publishes.
Since each chapter stands on its own, I want to highlight a few of my favorite chapters below.
“Legendary psychologist Abraham Maslow said it well: “Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.””
This month I read Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. Little Fires Everywhere (LFE) is a story based in the Shaker Heights neighborhood just outside of Cleveland, Ohio. Shaker Heights was thought to be one of the best neighborhoods in the country. The Richardsons, like most families in Shaker Heights, had a “proper” life; they had well-paying jobs, a big house, and beautiful children. Elena Richardson, a mother who prides herself in “giving back” to those less fortunate, rents out their second home to families in need, which is how we met the Warren family. Mia Warren, a single mother raising her only-daughter Pearl, doesn’t live a “proper” life. Mia and Pearl jump around a lot. Mia works odd jobs, earning just enough money to pay the bills but still leaving her enough time to pursue her passion, photography. Everything seems normal. The Warrens, different but unassuming. And the Richardsons, carefully crafted perfection. But under it all were small, though increasingly hot, fires. Elena’s prejudice, Mia’s carefully guarded past, and their children’s secrets and conflicts. Those little fires everywhere burned until there was nothing left.
I loved LFE! The story is wonderfully told and the writing is beautiful. The story is told through an omniscient narrator. The story starts at the end, a fire, and then jumps back to the beginning to work its way back up. I frequently found myself admiring sentences enough to reread them. The author touches on issues of race and class, that, on more than one occasion, lead to debates with my girlfriend (who doubles as my reading partner) about the morality of the events unfolding. And the end was sad, but filled with hope.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I’m 2 weeks in and I haven’t won a line yet, I’m not quitting my day job anytime soon. I’ve watched the NFL on Thanksgiving as far back as I can remember, so I thought I’d be fun to guess those games this year.
Thanksgiving Games
Texans -3 vs. LIONS – The Texans played surprisingly well last week. With this pick I’m hoping to will the Texans into relevancy. ✅ Did I do it??
COWBOYS -3 vs. Football Team – As bad as both of these teams are, I like the Cowboys at home on Thanksgiving. ❌ This Cowboys team is really bad
Sunday Games
Dolphins -7 vs. JETS – The Dolphins played so bad last week but I’m expecting them to bounce back this week. And as Nick Wright said, “the 0-16 Lions would 6.5pt favorites against this Jets team” ✅ The Jets really are that bad
Cardinals -2.5 vs. PATRIOTS – The Patriots were handled by a bad Texans team last week and the Cardinals have the best WR in the game. I like the Cardinals on the road this week. ❌ I’m not sure what to think about this Patriots team
I was a guest on The Rabbit Hole , a podcast by Stride, about building new products. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy it!
Can you imagine a world where you can fast-track your idea, turn it into a feature-filled app, and perfect its development with speed and technical finesse? For Stephen Meriwether, that future is now.
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I started off with a terrible 0-2-1 last week, but I feel good about my picks this week.
Falcons +5 vs. SAINTS – The Falcons have looked good since firing Dan Quinn and with Brees out I think it’ll take a few games for Jameis Winston to get this Saints team up to form. ❌ Taysom Hill got the start, and played well!
Dolphins -3.5 vs. BRONCOS – The Dolphins made a great decision to start Tua and the team is looking really good. I think the Broncos are a decent football team but the Dolphins are better. ❌ I don’t feel bad about this pick, I think Tua will bounce back next week.
Patriots +2.5 vs TEXANS – As painful as it is for me to say this, the Texans suck this year. And after a strong performance against the Ravens, I like the Patriots chances. ❌ Even this terrible Texans team won, what a week.
First, what was announced? There are lots of great roundups of the event, sites like The Verge or Apple’s Newsroom, will have comprehensive rundowns. In short, Apple announced a new Macbook Air, a new 13-inch Macbook Pro, and a new Mac mini. What’s noteworthy about these new computers is they all have a first-of-its-kind Apple system-on-a-chip (SoC), the M1. Apple is promising these new computers will have significantly better battery life (nearly double!) and performance (2-3x) than their previous-generation counterparts. Alongside performance gains, these new computers will natively run iOS apps! M1 is built on top of ARM, the same architecture used by iPhones and iPads, enabling M1 computers to run most* of your favorite iOS apps and games. To answer the question posed at the beginning of the paragraph, Apple announced new computers, with serious performance improvements, that are able to run iOS apps.
Apple has decided now is the time to start the transition to ARM because its new chips will blow past current generation Macs in both CPU and GPU performance.
So how did I do? On the CPU-front, I was spot on. Apple says the new laptops will have 2x the performance of the previous-generation computers. Early benchmarks show significantly better single-core scores than previous generations, and better multi-core scores than all but the most powerful iMacs and Mac Pros. When it comes to GPU performance, it’s still a bit too early to tell. Apple says M1 has “the world’s fastest integrated graphics” and will have 2x the performance of the previous generation. But my prediction hinged on M1, with its integrated GPU, having better performance than other Macs with discrete GPUs. Early benchmarks show M1 being faster than a GTX 1050 Ti, though that card is now a few years old. More benchmarks are needed to understand M1s graphics performance profile. All in all, I’m going to say my prediction was a winner!
As exciting as some of these announcements are, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. First, Apple announced the transition to ARM, months ago. A lot of what was announced last Tuesday had been previously announced or could be reasonably assumed. Second, the transition to ARM has the potential to unlock new hardware features that we didn’t see, like cellular, or a touch screen, to make newly available iOS apps easier to use. Instead, these new computers are the same computers we had before, only faster and with better battery life. We might one day see cellular Macs with touch screens, but that day wasn’t today. I think that speaks to the Apple that exists today. A company that makes the best products in the world. But also a company that gradually improves those products. And perhaps, gone are the days when ‘One more thing’ meant something radical.
*App developers can opt-out of having their apps on the Mac
My pick: listed first. Home team: CAPS. Post-game comments in italics.
I’m going to start publishing my weekly NFL picks on this blog. We’re already in week 10 of the NFL season, which means I’m only 10 weeks late. Here goes nothing.
TITANS -2 vs. Colts – I don’t think the Colts are a good team and I haven’t completely written off the Titans quite yet. It’s a divisional game so it won’t be a blowout but I like the Titan’s chances. ❌ Okay Colts, I see you.
Bills +2 vs CARDINALS – I like what the Bills showed me last week and I think there’s a little too much hype around Arizona right now. I like the Bills to win this game straight-up. 🖐 I’m so sad the Texans traded away DeAndre Hopkins.
BEARS +2.5 vs Vikings – I don’t think the 3-5 Vikings should be favored on the road against anybody. The Vikings have looked good recently and the Bears… haven’t, but the line is ridiculous. ❌ Of course this is the week that Cousins finally comes through.
Tomorrow (11/10/20) is Apple’s ‘One More Thing’ event 👨💻. Rumors have it that we’ll see the first ARM-powered Macs. The transition to ARM has a ton of upside but the plan for a successful ecosystem transition is murky. I’m excited to see what gets announced tomorrow. Of all the things I’m excited about, there are 2 things that standout: graphics performance and the future of software development on the Mac.
Graphics performance
Current-generation Macs are powered by a combination of Intel-built CPUs and discrete graphics cards. I suspect the transition to ARM will mean Apple will no longer be able to use discrete graphics cards. Meaning, Apple’s new chips will have Apple-built CPUs and GPUs. Based on the latest benchmarks of Apple’s A14 chip in the newest iPhones and iPads, I fully expect Apple Silicon to exceed the performance of Intel CPUs. I’m not as confident about GPU performance.
Prediction: Apple has decided now is the time to start the transition to ARM because it’s new chips will blow past current generation Macs in both CPU and GPU performance.
The future of software development on the Mac
Basically every software developer I know, including myself, writes code on a Mac. They’re beautiful computers and MacOS is a stellar operating system. Over the past decade, software developers have created a vast ecosystem of tools for the Mac. And more, most production systems use the same x86-64 architecture currently found on the Mac. Will developers ensure their ecosystem of tools run smoothly on the new ARM architecture? And will we start to see more ARM-based production systems?
Thoughts: I don’t think we’ll hear much on this tomorrow. Software developers are a curious bunch, so I suspect most tools will be updated to support ARM-based Macs. As for production systems, I don’t see a switch to ARM happening anytime soon. That leaves developers in a precarious position. My money is on there being a lot of talk, without much action, and things will end up mostly fine.
This past month (October 2020) I read The Guest List by Lucy Foley. The Guest List (TGL) is a murder-thriller involving a bride, a groom, and their guests at their private, no-expense-spared, wedding on a small island off the coast of Scotland. The bride, Jules, is the founder of a popular lifestyle website. The groom, Will, the host of a popular survival TV show. Jules and Will were perfect for each other, though a marriage after only a few months of dating did seem a bit odd. And so, at their wedding, with their family and oldest friends in attendance, Will and Jules are forced to confront each other’s true past, and the people in it. The outcome? Murder.
TGL is a fun read with an okay story that takes a while to get going. The book is told from many, first-person perspectives. Each chapter from the perspective of one of the 6 or so primary characters. The book does not follow a synchronous timeline, instead it jumps back and forth between the present and the night of the wedding (the end of the timeline). Overall, I quite enjoyed the first-person view of our characters and the book reached can’t-stop-reading territory for a brief moment. Unfortunately, it had an overly dramatic ending that is too familiar to most murder-thriller stories.
Experiences in the last few days have left me feeling overwhelmingly sad. As I’ve been thinking about those experiences, and the experiences of the last few months a couple of things have started to emerge.
Being alone
One of my biggest fears was not knowing how I was going to cope with the isolation. The last time I faced this kind of isolation was when I first moved to New York, and I was incredibly lonely. I feared the same would happen this time. I’m still not sure how it’s going to go. I’ve been warned by friends that the path has many twists and turns, and that more really hard days are in my future. And I don’t have a tried-and-true method of dealing with “hard”. The thing I’ve turned to in the past has been food, but I’d like to find healthier ways to cope this time around. That being said, I have hope. I’ve spent a couple of years living alone and it turns out I’ve learned a thing or two!
Building (coding) things brings value to my life. There’s nothing quite like sitting down at a computer, staring at a blank screen, and bringing a thing to life. This, of course, is loaded, as most things are for me. Building has been a way to escape. A way to run away from hard (and scary) situations. A way to escape from dealing with my insecurities. And so, there’s also a lot of shame. A balance does exist, and now I have ample time to try to find it.
I really enjoy learning from my mentors (Derek Sivers, Jason Fried, Seth Godin, etc). Another way I’ve spent alone time in the past is consuming as much content as possible from the handful of people I really care about. I encounter new situations and learn how they handle them. I get exposed to new arguments and ways of thinking about the world. I learn a lot. I haven’t spent the past few months doing this and I’m itching to pick it back up.
Sadness
Though I have hope (and some experience) dealing with the road ahead I still, at times, experience an overwhelming amount of sadness. And in those times I feel like doing nothing. I feel like laying on the couch and watching TV for hours and hours. But there’s also a lot of shame in that. Shame that I’m not doing something more. Shame that I feel sad in the first place.
My experience with my therapist over the past few months can be summed up into a couple of words: “don’t judge the feeling”. On a small scale, I think I’ve made great progress. I have a much better handle on the daily barrage of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are driven by my insecurities. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. This (the overwhelming sadness) feels different. I don’t have a patronus to fight it off before it becomes all-consuming. And I still judge the feeling, when that feeling consumes hours and hours of my day. But, I have hope. During an early conversation I had with my therapist I argued that the best time to learn how to deal with something is in real time, when you’re experiencing it. She argued that the best time was before you experience it. I now know I was wrong. Coping with overwhelming emotions requires trained emotional muscles. Thankfully, I started regularly going to the gym a few months ago. I’m not yet strong enough. But I’m hopeful.
On being comfortable
Figuring out how to find my own comfort, in such uncertainty, will be my primary focus over the next few months. Because I know the reward in doing so will last well into the future. And I have hope. I have hope because I’m better equipped. And because I’m not going at it alone. Malayna, thank you for being kind, and patient, and full of wisdom.
I was a guest on The Rabbit Hole , a podcast by Stride, to continue our discussion about Google Design Sprints. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
It’s Tuesday morning at the Google Design Sprint. We all have our Crocs, our snacks, and our playlists… For part two of our series on the Google Design Sprint, we had Kirsten Nordine and Stephen Meriwether join us again to share all their experiences about day two, three and four!
I was a guest on The Rabbit Hole , a podcast by Stride, to talk about Google Design Sprints. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
If you’re like us, and just hearing the word ‘sprint’ is enough to break you out into a cold sweat, you’re not alone. Luckily today, we’re not talking about a physical sprint. Instead, we’re unpacking the Google Design Sprint.
Most of my life right now is centered around work and being quarantined due to COVID-19. At work, my mentor has put me in charge of one of the companies business units. I spend most of my time not as a programmer, but as business leader. It’s a great opportunity that aligns well with my career goals. Though in the short-term it’s been challenging to shift my mindset away from programming and towards leading. It’s been stressful. I’ve started going back to therapy to help manage the stress.
We’re all figuring out ways to cope during the COVID-19 pandemic and I’m no different. I’m grateful to my many good friends that I’ve spend hours on the phone with and once virtually cooked with! Cooking over Zoom is really fun, I should continue to do that after this all boils over. With all this time at home I’ve decided to narrow my media consumption, to only a handful of people. One of those people is Derek Sivers, I’m very much enjoying Season 2 of the Derek Sivers Podcast.
I’ve started spending a lot of time with a friend and ex-coworker. She’s an incredible person and a big reason why I’ve stayed sane while quarantined these past few weeks. It’s still early in our relationship but I’m excited to see where it goes.
I was a guest on The Rabbit Hole , a podcast by Stride, to talk with Esther Derby. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
On a very special episode 100, Dave, William and Stephen have a conversation with the esteemed Esther Derby about the various roles that we take on as Team Members and Leaders when we’re responsible for the team’s results ORRR for the team’s growth.
I was a guest on The Rabbit Hole , a podcast by Stride, to talk about GraphQL. I’ve included a portion of the episode’s summary below. I hope you enjoy!
On today’s episode of the The Rabbit Hole we are talking GraphQL and getting some hot takes from our guest Stephen Meriwether! Although GraphQL definitely has its proponents, it certainly has its critics and there are a number of reasons for this.
